I've been up to my eyeballs in projects since before I left for South Carolina, and it seems like they're never ending. Right now, I have a grand total of 17 art pieces that I'm switching back and forth between in an attempt to get them all done in a minimal time frame. I swear, I'm waiting for the day my tablet gets up and leaves me because I'm overworking it.

As for the schedule for my art shows, we're still negotiating dates and times. As soon as we figure out what we're doing and when, I will definitely let ya'll know.

As for Equine Affaire, I'm on the waiting list for next year's (this upcoming event) vendors for both the California and Ohio event. I'm not exactly too sure when I'm supposed to hear a definite answer, but, again, I will everyone know what's going on the moment that I do.



I've been doing a lot of thinking lately of the path my life has taken. I never imagined myself being at these crossroads, and I mourn for what was and what might have been.

I didn't marry my husband simply because I loved him...I married him because my life wasn't complete without him, because he fit, because his was the name written across my heart. Now there is a gaping hole that echoes with deep sorrow...it sounds like church bells ringing across a vast and empty plain. I have lost and gained so much in less than a year. It has been seven months since Soquili's passing...108 days that my husband and I have been separated...Each days has been marked with a sense of loss, and it feels neverending.

I have tried so hard to see the good that has come out of all this, but that good has come at such a high cost. I lost a beloved horse, my husband, my home, friends that I trusted, my health, and the life that I believed I was meant to have. Yes, I gained Dusty and Jack and career opportunities that might have never happened had I not gone down that particular path. But is any of that worth what I lost?

Don't get me wrong because I am very grateful for what I have. I love Dusty and Jack to death, and I couldn't be more thrilled with where my career's going...but I lost so much that I held dear to my heart. My heart and my head are both reeling from so much going wrong so fast, and it may be some time before I'm able to sort through all the emotional bullshit before I discover what's real and what's not.

If I had one power, it would be the ability to foresee the future and to give myself chances to fix what might go wrong, to avoid calamity and heartache. I have had enough of this insanity, and I am more than ready for things to start going right for a change.